A Seven Thousand Word Monstrosity

It was a dreary night when I saw them. They appeared to be two lowly thieves, just like me. Little did I know that those two lowly thieves were probably the most technologically advanced people in the whole world and would become my best friends and partners in crime.

I first saw them on one of my jobs when I was breaking into some rich dude’s house. They were trying to get into the house next door. I decided to watch these two amateurs try to break and enter.

The first one that crept up to the side of the house was tall and thin and had these funny dark glasses on. He crept up and then his glasses let out a quick light, like lightening. He stood there for a few seconds, staring at the wall and his light, and then he turned to the other guy and motioned him to come over.

As the other approached, I watched him. He was a little heavy set and was about six inches shorter than the other and was dressed in camouflage. When he reached the other one, he looked at the door and mumbled and opened his mouth and a red beam came out of it. This was worse than the guy with the glasses and it scared the living crap out of me.

He used the beam to cut the handle off the door. Before he opened the door, though, he looked at the guy with the glasses and they both signaled each other using some kind of sign language. Then they opened the door.

They were in the house only a short period of time. They came out together holding some sort of box. I was amazed that they were in and out so fast. While I sat trying to figure out these two characters, the one with glasses spotted me. Before I had a chance to regain my sense of reality, they both descended from the dark foggy sky right next to me.

They put some sort of magnetic tape over my mouth and picked me up. Then we started to float up in the sky until we were above the fog, up where it was clear and without a cloud in the sky. When we reached the height of our ascent, we started to move forward and, at that point, I fainted.

When I regained consciousness, I looked around and thought I was in the computer room at NASA with all the scanners and monitors and stuff. Then I saw the dude with the glasses sitting at a keyboard punching buttons left and right. I saw the other guy over by a big glass box with his hands moving some levers. Inside the glass box was the little box they had brought out of the house.

Now the little box was open and there was some sort of glowing thing in it. It must have been radioactive or something because it was in the glass box.

After trying to figure this all out, I tried to move my hands but they were tied. Then I tried to move my feet but they were tied too and my mouth still had the magnetic tape over it. I looked at the ropes on my hands and feet and they were glowing.

By this time, the one with the glasses was laughing at me. Then the shorter one started laughing too. They both came over and talked to each in that funny sign language before speaking to me.

The taller one said, “What is your name?”

I told him, “Jack Hull.”

He said, “You stupid liar! I know that your real name is Matt Burns because I looked at your credentials.”

Not caring if he knew my real name or not, I demanded, “Where the hell am I?”

They both started to laugh again.

Insulted, I asked, “Who are you two freaks?”

The shorter of the two said, “Put it this way, smart mouth, we will tell you all these things you ask in due time.”

Then the taller man added, “Yeah, after you cool down a bit, we will tell you everything you need to know before we brainwash you.”

“Brainwash me?” I asked. “You can’t do that!”

They both just turned and walked away and then I realized the tape was still on my mouth. How could we have talked? How did they hear me? Then one of them turned around and said, “We injected some mind communication serum in you. That’s why we can hear everything you think.”

“That’s right, Pringles breath!” the tall one said.

Then the shorter one said, “Take it easy, big guy. As for you, Matt, you best not think anything too bad about my friend here or I’ll have to hurt you. Get it? Good!”

So I tried not to think anymore.

Later that night they came to me with food. They knew I was hungry because they were listening to my thoughts.

After I ate, they put me in a machine that sort of looked like the X-ray machine at the dentist. The machine made a loud humming noise that scared the hell out of me. The tall one punched some buttons on a keyboard and some paper came out of a printer and then the shorter one started reading the paper and was smiling the whole time. Then he said to the other, “I knew he was the one.”

After they had a little conference, they pulled these two switches and the ropes on my hands and feet disappeared and the magnetic tape fell from my mouth. Then they led me to three chairs, where they told me to sit down, so I did. Then they sat down.

After everyone got comfortable, the shorter one started talking. He said, “Matt, how long have you been a thief?”

I answered, “About five years.”

He asked, “Has it been hard to live?”

“Yes,” I answered.

Then he said, “How would you like to be part of all this? I mean, work with us and become like us?”

I answered, “What do you mean work with you and become like you?”

“Well, you see,” said the taller one, “we are sort of like Robin Hood; we fight for good. But we break the law and, therefore, the police and the FBI and the National Guard are after us. But they will never capture us, dead or alive.

“Now you becoming like us means that you will have powers like us. You saw my pal over here shoot a beam out of his mouth. Well, that was a laser and he and I developed it so small that we could put it in a dental retainer. All he has to do is open his mouth, pop it out, and press it with his tongue and out comes the laser. You see?

“Now I, on the other hand, have infra-red, X-ray vision glasses that magnify up to a thousand times. And both of us have belts that change our density and allow us to float. Right now we’re working on a device that can make a person invisible just by thinking about it.

“These are very brief descriptions, of course. We have many more things too, but it would take hours–that we don’t have–to explain them thoroughly.

“If you accept our offer, you will test our invisibility power and–if it works–you will receive that power permanently.

“But there is one thing that you must know now: you will be injected for life with a chemical that will kill you if you choose to deceive us by going to the police, the FBI, or any other system authority.

“Now, let me ask you this: do you accept our offer?”

I said, “Can I think about it without you two listening?”

The shorter one said, “Yes. All we have to do is go inside the leaded room and lock the door air-tight and the waves will not travel through it.”

I stood up as they left the room and went into the lead room. I stayed standing until I heard the door lock shut, then I plopped into the chair and did some heavy thinking.

I thought about what they said over and over. I thought about the alternatives. If I take the offer, I will become one of the richest and most technologically advanced outlaws in the world. But if I don’t accept, they will either kill me or brainwash me.

I decided to accept their offer and become the first man to be invisible.

I called them back into the room and they congratulated me and told me their names. The tall one’s name was Mark and the shorter one’s name was Dave and that was the beginning of “The Perfect Thieves”.

The next day, everyone slept in until around ten thirty. When I woke up, the other two were just eating breakfast. I took a shower, then they gave me some clothing that looked like they got it from some army base.

After I ate, we all went downstairs, where they had a gym. This gym looked like the training room for the US Olympics. There was gymnastics, wrestling, weightlifting, boxing, track and field, and biker equipment.

They started me out with the weights. First, I stretched a little. Then they made me bench press a hundred and fifty pounds as many times as I could, which was nineteen times. Then I moved on to two hundred pounds, which I did thirteen times. Then two twenty-five, about eight times. Then two fifty, about three times.

Next, they moved me over to the box squat. I started with two hundred and fifty pounds and kept going until I reached four hundred twenty. Then I moved on to the curling machine. I started with ninety pounds, then moved to one hundred ten, then one twenty-five, then one thirty and that was all I could curl.

After I was done lifting weights, we went to the track. I ran five miles while they ran ten.

Next was the boxing arena. I was punching the sand bag while they were in the ring, boxing with these special gloves that I learned later were not really boxing gloves. They weren’t even getting hurt, although they were hitting each other as hard as they could. With the gloves on, your nerves become totally numb. Well, most of them anyway, like the ones in the face, chest, and stomach. Also, while wearing the gloves, the skin can’t be broken or bruised or damaged in any way.

The gloves also register how many pounds of pressure in each punch. I think the highest was two hundred and one pounds, which was a knock out. That is another thing: the gloves can register knockouts. Anything over two hundred is a knockout.

Well, after the fifth knockout, they made me put on the gloves and get into the ring. They set the gloves to my strength, which was one hundred fifty pounds below theirs. I knocked Dave out once and he knocked me out four times.

After the boxing matches, we went to the gymnastics arena. They taught me how to do the parallel bars, the high bar, and the rings. After I could do a little on those three, they taught me how to do things on the balance beam. But that was easy. When I broke into buildings, I walked and slid down ropes.

When my workout for the day was done, we ate a late lunch. After lunch, Dave took me back to the gym. We cleared an area about thirty-five feet by twenty feet. Mark was up in the control room, which overlooked the gym, putting some final touches into the computer.

Then Dave picked up a belt, like the one he and Mark were wearing, and told me to put it on. So I put it on. Then he told me to press the buckle twice. So I did and I started to float up.

Dave told me to do it again. I did as he said and went higher. I did it again and again until I touched the ceiling, which was about twenty feet high.

Next Dave told me to turn the buckle to the right. After I did this, I moved forward. I turned it further and further and went faster and faster. Then I turned it all the way to the left and started slowing down until I finally stopped. Then I kept turning it to the left and I started going sideways to the left.

Dave told me to push it in again. I did and I started moving to the right. Now I knew how to operate it. For the next hour or so, Dave and I flew around, with him teaching me how to make quick and dynamic moves.

After an hour, Dave went up to the computer room and Mark came down and showed me how to land and take off quickly. He showed me some other moves too, mostly goof-off moves and tricks.

When I almost had enough of flying, Mark and I landed and went outside. Mark took off and then I followed. It was a pretty clear afternoon. The sun was shining, there weren’t too many clouds, it was about seventy-five degrees–just right for a flight.

At first I was sort of timid about going too high but I gradually shook that fear. We flew over flat land and some hills and lakes, and then over the city. It was great. I felt like Superman flying high in the sky.

We flew for two and a half hours and twenty-five miles at least. It was starting to cool off and the sun was beginning to set, so we returned to the house high in the hills. After all that, I realized I was in a different state–they must have carried me for about three and a half hours the other night.

When we got to the computer room, Dave was ticked at Mark and me — mostly at Mark — but he didn’t lose his temper. He just asked calmly, “Where have you two been?”

Mark answered sort of snobbishly, “Out.”

Dave asked, “Doing what?”

“Flying,” I answered. “Mark was just showing me–”

Dave cut me short, “Never mind. I’ve finished the invisibility device and we could have tested it today, but no…you two had to goof off. So now we have to wait until tomorrow.”

Mark said in a very angry voice, “You hog-suckin’ dimwit! What he was trying to say is–”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Dave threw back. “Go to bed.”

“Yes Daddy,” Mark snapped. But Dave just ignored him and went to bed.

Mark looked over at me and said, “He’s not like this all the time. Most of the time he doesn’t lose his temper. But when he does…well, it’s hard to tell what he’ll do. Sometimes he just ignores you, like now. Other times he blows up and tears everything in his path. When he’s like that, just stay out of his way. Do you want something to eat or drink?”

“Not really,” I answered.

“How about we watch some TV or shoot some billiards or take a swim in the pool?”

“No. I think I’ll just sit here and relax and think.”

“Ok,” he said, then mumbled something and went downstairs to shoot some billiards.

After about fifteen minutes, I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up at about six. I went to the living room and it appeared that no one was up yet. I went downstairs and there was Mark, sawing z’s on the couch. I looked in Dave’s room and he was gone. I went up to the control room and he wasn’t in there either. I looked out through the window, which overlooked the gym, and there he was, down in the gym.

I ran down and, when I got there, he told me to go get Mark up, get dressed, and get something to eat. I ran back to the rec room and woke Mark up, then ran to my room and got dressed. I was too excited for breakfast so I just went back to the gym. Mark was already there and had already changed clothing.

Dave said to me, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Are you aware that if this fails,” Mark added, “like, if you turn invisible, you might not be able to come back?”

I said, “I am fully aware of that.”

“Ok, then put this on,” Dave said as he handed me this thing that sort of looked like a small hearing aid, like the ones you just stick inside your ear and no one can even tell that you got it in.

I asked, “What do I do now?”

“Well just hold on a minute,” Dave said. “Put this one in the other ear and put this one in your pocket. Now, one of the ones in your ear is a transmitter. We will be able to hear everything you say and you will be able to hear us. The other one in your ear is the invisibility device itself. All you have to do is think really hard that you are invisible and you’ll turn invisible.

“The extra one in your pocket is just another transmitter. Whatever you do, don’t lose the ID–that stands for invisibility device, by the way, so just call it an ID for short from now on ok?”

“Ok,” I answered.

“Now think. Think that you are invisible. Think. Oh my god! Your legs are fading! Think harder. Harder!

“Hey, you did it, man! You are totally invisible!

“Now think again…think that we can see you. Think. Ok, you’re doing it. We can almost see you.

“Alright, you are back!” Dave said excitedly.

“You mean I was actually invisible?” I asked. “You couldn’t see me at all? Not one bit?”

“That’s right,” Mark answered simply.

“This is incredible!” Dave said. “We did it. We designed and built a device to turn a man invisible.”

“Oh yeah!” Mark said. “Now we’re going to party hearty tonight, mon! Right? Dave old boy, old buddy, old pal?”

“I guess one night’s delay won’t hurt,” Dave answered, “as long as we don’t stay out too long. And I don’t have to go where there’s a lot of smokers and boozers. And you two don’t have hardly anything to drink or smoke…because you have to be up to your fullest tomorrow. Both of you. Agreed?”

“Agreed already!” Mark answered for both of us.

I couldn’t wait to get out that night so I went upstairs and had a little something to eat, then I went back to bed for a long nap.

I slept for about four hours. Mark woke me up and said, “Get up, man! Go take a shower and get dressed in your best because we are going to a bar where there are women all over the place. There’s enough of them for you, me, and Dave to have twenty-five a piece. The music plays all night long and the place is open all night long too.

“I’ll come back in about an hour to get you. Oh…and don’t forget to wear your anti-gravity belt and your invisibility device. See you later, big guy!”

After he left, I took off my clothes and jumped in the shower.

Sure enough, in an hour Mark came back and we went into the living room, then into this dark room that had a cement floor. When Mark turned on the lights, Dave was sitting in one of three brand new, super-charged, turbo-boosted, totally computerized, most spectacularly awesome cars I have ever seen. The one Dave was sitting on was a 1986 Lamborghini with a dual air scoop in the front, a single scoop in the back, long spoilers, and could travel a hundred and ninety miles an hour with no problem. It could hit a top speed of two hundred twenty-five miles per hour and it was all Dave’s.

Mark stood by his Porsche 954, which hit a top speed of two hundred fifteen miles per hour.

I said, “These are great, but don’t I get one?”

They both looked at each other and started to laugh. Then Mark walked over to the wall and pressed a button and the wall moved. Behind it was a whole lot of cars–about a hundred and twenty-five–to be more exact.

Mark said, “Take your pick.”

There were cars from Lamborghinis to VW Bugs, all specially built, just like Dave’s and Mark’s. I glanced over them all, but the one that I liked best was a 1986 red Corvette that could hit a top speed of two hundred ten miles per hour and had a special hydraulic system that allowed me to shift into four-wheel drive. The tires transformed and the body would raise about three and a half feet higher.

They told me that it was the third best car they owned and that I couldn’t have picked a better car. Mark then walked over to it, opened the door, pressed a button, and a little keyboard popped out. He had me put my hand on a little plate that faintly resembled a hand. He starting pressing numbers and letters into the keyboard and the plate lit up for a few seconds. Then a voice said, “Accepted.”

Mark handed me a little headset like the one the newscasters wear. He told me to say, “Hello, KAR. How are you?”

After I did that, I heard a bunch of little beeps and then a voice said, “Greetings, driver. What do you say we blow this cave and hit the road?”

I said, “What the heck is going on, man?”

Dave answered, “This is KAR CENTRON 8000. He is a computer-programmed voice modulated car and more. KC will fill you in on all that stuff on the way into town.

“Now, to start it up, all you have to do is touch the steering wheel because it is programmed to do so. And all you have to do to open the door or roll down the window or make a tee-top is touch the thing you want to open or close and it will do so. The car will respond to you and talk to you, so don’t be afraid to talk back. Ok. See you in town. Let’s have a race to see who gets there first!”

The garage door opened and they tore out of there. I hit the turbo-boost on accident and jumped over the cars all around me and raced down the road after Dave and Mark.

I said, “Hey, KAR C, where are we going anyways?”

It answered, “To town.”

“I know that, but how do I get there?” I asked.

He said nothing, but a computer screen in the dashboard lit up and there was a map of the city limits.

“According to this map, I stay on this road until I reach Hickory Drive. Then I make a left turn there and travel until it dead ends into White Road. Make a right there until I get into town. Once I am in the town, I go to the third light and then I make a left until I see it.”

“Ok, just leave it up on the screen until we get there and every once in a while you can tell me which way, okay KC?” I said.

“I prefer to be called KAR C. But if KC is what you want, so be it,” it answered.

“Ok KC, let’s see what you can do,” I said, then slammed into fourth gear and put the pedal to the floor and burned past Dave. Then I was going neck-and-neck with Mark, but then Dave sped past both of us and was down the road about three lengths ahead of us.

Mark sped up and passed me and was neck-and-neck with Dave. Then Mark passed him and was only one length ahead.

Then Dave sped up and passed Mark and down-shifted to make the turn.

I was just waiting to make my move after we hit the turn-off. After I turned, I cranked up the super-charge and raced up until I was tailgating Mark, who was neck-and-neck with Dave again. Then I hit my turbo-lifter and jumped over Mark and landed in front of him by about two and a half lengths.

Just as I landed and calmed down a little, Dave raced past me and kept on going until I could not see him anymore. Then Mark did the same. I tried to catch them, but they were too fast.

Then I had a great idea.

I glanced at the map, then told KC to track Mark and Dave. Two blips appeared on the map where they were. I looked at the map for a few more minutes then hit a button that said FOUR WHEEL.

All of a sudden, the car slowed down, almost to a stop. I thought that it was breaking down. But every ten miles an hour that it slowed down, it raised up and the wheels got bigger and grew into four wheel drive tires with wide, thick, deep treads.

When the process was complete, I down-shifted and turned to go into the field to my right. I hit my turbo-lifter and flew into the field. I went over hills and through swamps for about fifteen minutes until I reached the road. I turned up onto the road and hit another button that said NORMAL.

I looked at the map and Dave and Mark were about a quarter of a mile behind me. So I tore off until I got to the city limits, then I slowed down to about sixty miles an hour until I pulled down the street the bar was on.

When I got there, I pushed a button that said WASH. Water and soap came out of little holes and cleaned the car off. Then I shut down all systems except the program itself and the alarm. I left the tee-top down also.

I sat there for about four minutes until Dave and Mark got there. After they parked, Dave asked me, “How did you get here before us?”

“Yeah,” Mark said. “We were about a quarter of a mile–”

“I know!” Dave interrupted. “He went cross country!”

“I sure did! It was great, man. This car is almost as fun as flying. Now let’s get in there and get some women!”

When I went in, all I saw was colored lights shining and lots of people with booze. People were dancing on a lighted floor and I thought the place looked and sounded more like a disco joint because of the loud music.

I walked over to the bar with Mark and Dave. Mark said, “I’m going to see if I can find three girls that are together. See you in a few minutes.”

I ordered a beer for me and Dave ordered a 7UP. I said, “Dave, man, loosen up. Order a beer, relax, have some fun.”

“No thanks,” he answered. “I don’t smoke, drink, or do any of that stuff.”

“Alright,” I said. “Hey, here come our drinks.”

I took mine and gulped some down, then almost choked when I saw the three girls that Mark came back with. All three were totally awesome looking.

When they arrived at the bar, Dave and I stood up. Dave asked one if she would like to dance and they moved out onto the floor. If there were two things he could sure do, it was talk to the ladies and dance.

Mark and one of the other girls moved on to the floor and left me and the last girl at the bar.

I asked her to dance, but she said, “Not yet. First, I could use a drink and I’m buying.”

“No, no…I’ll buy,” I said.

“I couldn’t let you do that. You don’t even know my name, my background, or anything. For all you know, I could be a hooker just looking for money.”

I backed down. “Ok, ok…you can buy. You’re not a hooker, are you?”

“No, of course not,” she answered. “That’s just a line I use for stubborn people.”

“Stubborn people?” I said, getting agitated.

She said, “Don’t get me wrong–I really like stubborn people. Really like them. Besides, you can’t be too stubborn because most stubborn people would have persisted.”

“If you don’t order and stop talking about stubborn people, I think I’m going to order for you,” I said.

“Ok, ok…don’t order please. Bartender, give us two–what’ll you have?” she asked.

“Just a beer,” I said.

“Ok, two beers, bartender,” she said.

Then she turned to me and said, “Now…hello, my name is Becky.”

“Hello Becky, my name is Matt,” I said.

She said, “Hi.”

I said, “Hi…what do you say after we drink our beers we go somewhere quiet and peaceful so we can talk and get to know each other?”

“Ok,” she said as she turned to get our beers. “Do you have a car or did you come with Dave and Mark?”

“Boy, do I have a car,” I mumbled.

“Did you say something?” she asked, turning back to me with the two beers in her hands.

“Um…no. How do you know Dave and Mark?” I quickly asked.

“Well, me and the other two girls met them once before but never got to know them too well. Tonight when they walked in with you, we thought this was the perfect time to get to know them, and meet and get to know you,” she added timidly.

“Oh…yeah…er…wow,” I stammered.

“Yeah…so do you have a car? ‘Cause if you don’t I can drive,” she said.

“No, you bought the drinks,” I said, “so I’ll drive.”

So we chugged our beers and left.

When we reached my car, she looked at it and was speechless. I walked her to the car door and pulled up the handle and it unlocked and opened. She got in and I shut the door, then walked to my side of the car and got in.

After I sat down, I put my hands on the steering wheel and the car started; all systems were back on again. All the little red buttons lit up and the car said, “Hello. Who is our little lady friend here?”

I answered, “Take it easy KC. This is Becky.”

“Hello, Becky. I’m KAR CENTRON 8000, but you can call me KC.”

But Becky was too freaked out to answer. So I said, “Becky, snap out of it! It’s just a computer-programmed car. It’s not dangerous. He’s my buddy.”

She still looked scared, but managed to say, “I think I need some air.”

As soon as she said it, KC rolled the cover off the tee-top and the windows slid down. She took a few deep breaths, then she turned to me, not looking quite so scared anymore. In fact, she seemed almost totally calm.

“Next time you want to show me something strange like this, warn me so I don’t do this again. Ok?”

I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know someone would react like that to my car, especially you. I thought you were tough enough to handle it, but I guess you’re not as tough as you appeared to be in the bar. I’ll just have to be more careful from now on.”

She said, “You just watch who you call ‘not so tough’. Most girls would have fainted or screamed. But considering that I am a woman, I think I handled it pretty well.”

“I guess that’s true,” I said. “I’m just not used to being around women that are intelligent and more or less tough. The girls that used to go for me before I met Dave and Mark were the dumb floozy type. I never liked them because all they would do is laugh. They even laughed at things that weren’t funny. They were always flirting with other guys and were always stuck on themselves.

“But I like you because you are not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside also and that’s what counts the most.”

“Well…thank you,” she said. “Now let’s roll!”

“Oh, there’s one more thing I’ve got to ask you. Do you like speed or showing off or both at the same time?” I asked, greedy for an answer.

Then she answered, “Both.”

Then I slammed into gear, popped the clutch, and we burned out of there.

When we got out on the main drag, there were only a few cars, so I burned and then maintained a steady pace of sixty-two miles per hour. We were going along talking when we pulled up to a stoplight and some kid in a black eighty-six TransAm pulled up and said, “Hey dude, nice car. Looks pretty fast. Think you might want to race her?”

“Sure,” I said with a smile and a glance at Becky.

“Ok, when the light turns green, we race until we get to Zut Road, then turn right and race until the first stop light. The course is not the biggest, but it is four and a half miles and I don’t have very much time.

“If you win, you’re invited to race in the biggest drag race in the county tonight. But you if you lose, you buy drinks for everyone at the race…all they can drink.

“Are you sure you want to race? I’ve only lost two races in the last two months.”

Before I had a chance to answer, the light changed and he burned out of there. Only wasting a few seconds, I tore after him.

At first, he was about three and a half lengths ahead. But that didn’t last. I was closing in at eighty, then ninety, then we were riding neck-and-neck at ninety-eight.

Then I took it up to a hundred and five and passed him and was riding about a length and a half ahead. But then he burned past me and was about two lengths ahead and going about a hundred and fifteen miles per hour. But he didn’t stop there. He kept burning and was well past a hundred and twenty and about five lengths ahead.

I was starting to get irritated, so I shifted up and up and had the pedal to the floor until I was running in the highest gear. I passed him at a hundred and fifty miles per hour and kept on going.

Now I was ahead by about ten lengths and I maintained that until I was almost to Zut Road. I made a right-hand turn and he took my down-shifting to his advantage and almost caught up. But I shifted up again and was home free because I could see the finish line and he was about ten lengths behind me again.

After I crossed the finish line, I pulled over. Three or four seconds later, he pulled up next to me and said, “Pretty good. You definitely qualify for the races. We’re at the old airport runway up by the reservoir that’s been drained. It’s about ten miles outside of town if you take the main roads, but only about three miles if you take the lumber roads. But the lumber roads are so badly eroded and muddy that our cars can’t get there that way unless we want to ruin them.”

There was a slight pause, then we heard a police siren quickly getting closer.

“Tonight at midnight,” he said. “I’m getting the heck out of here. Hopefully we’ll see you tonight. Bye!”

I said to Becky, “Do you want to have some more fun with a cop?”

She answered, “Heck yeah. Let’s roll!”

“No,” I said. “Let’s wait for him to pull up next to us and then we’ll cruise, ok?”

“Ok,” she answered.

Suddenly the cop car pulled around the corner and next to us. The cop got out of his car and walked to my window.

“Ok, punk, let me see your license and registration.”

I said, “Why, man?”

He answered, “Don’t give me that, punk. I saw you and that other car racing way back there and your car registered a hundred and fifty-five miles per hour.”

“You’re full of it, man. I was only doing fifty-five,” I said.

“My machine registered a hundred and fifty-five and I’m an expert at registering speeds, so let’s get on with it.”

“Ok, man,” I said. “Register this!”

I slammed the shifter and peeled out of there. Almost as soon as I did, I was doing forty miles an hour and just sped up. I was about a half a block down the street before the cop got to his car and started after me.

I didn’t want him to get discouraged and, besides, I wanted to play with him for a while. I let him catch up to me and then Becky and I waved at him. Then I put the pedal to the metal and left him the dust.

I sped like that for about twenty seconds and then slowed down again to about fifty to let him catch back up. But then he stopped on the side of the road about two blocks back. So I slammed on the brakes and spun the car around. Then we raced back and passed him again.

He started up his engine and made a u-turn to come after me. Then I spun around again and headed straight for him like we were playing chicken, except that he was no chicken. We got within ten feet and neither one of us was chickening out, so I hit the turbo-boost and flew over him. He slammed on the brakes and called in for reinforcements.

Within thirty seconds we heard about four or five more sirens. We looked ahead of us and saw two police cars blocking the road about fifty yards in front of us, a car on both side streets, and two more blocking the road behind us. There were about twenty-six officers with shotguns waiting to stop us.

Becky was getting scared and I wasn’t totally calm either, so I asked KC what to do and he said, “Roll up the windows and head straight for one of the road blocks. When you’re about ten or fifteen feet away, hit turbo-boost and hang on.”

I said questionably, “What about the guns? They’ll shoot us to a pulp!”

“No they won’t. My shell and windows are totally bullet proof, fire proof, laser proof, and everything proof. Just hit it!”

“Ok,” I said. “Are you ready, Becky?”

She just smiled and nodded.

So I slammed down the pedal and upshifted. When I was about twenty feet from the roadblock, the police men started firing. Becky and I were both blinking and flinching and praying that those bullets wouldn’t come through the windshield.

When we were about thirteen feet away from the police cars and cops, I hit turbo-boost and we soared over the road block. When we landed, we looked back and all the police men were just standing there, looking at us in amazement. Not one of them took another shot at us.

We didn’t watch for long, though. I slammed down the gas pedal and shifted into high gear and we burned out of there. Some police cars came after us, but they were no match for us. I was doing about a hundred and sixty miles per hour. After about three minutes, we lost them.

Once we lost them, we just cruised the country roads for about an hour. I looked at my watch and it was about a quarter to midnight.

I asked Becky if she wanted me to drive her home or if she wanted to go to the races with me. She said, “The races.”

I told her that we only had fifteen minutes to get there and even if we took the old lumber roads, it would take at least twenty-five minutes. So we were going to have to go cross country.

I slammed it into four wheel drive and the car slowed almost to a stop, raised up, and the tires grew to half the size of Bigfoot tires. We were three and a half feet higher from the ground.

Then we started to pick up speed. I drove down off the road and into a swampy marshland. It was a pretty rough ride.

Then we started going uphill and were finally above the swamp. We kept on climbing until we reached the top. Once we were on top the hill, I looked down and saw a little road that was all muddy and had parts of trees and other debris on it. So we went down to it. I figured it was the old lumber road and would lead us to the reservoir, which was near the old airport.

Before we reached the reservoir, I asked Becky if she would like to drive in the first race. “Yes,” she answered.

When we reached the reservoir, we could see the airport and a lot of cars. There were cars of all kinds, from the forties to the eighties, Fords, VW’s…