“Russian warship, go f*** yourself!”

By now you’ve probably heard the story of the Ukrainian border guards who defied a Russian warship on Snake Island a few weeks ago. If you haven’t, the story goes essentially like this:

On February 25, 2022, a Russian fleet approached the island and announced to the Ukrainian defenders, “I am a Russian warship. I ask you to lay down your arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed and unnecessary deaths. Otherwise, you will be bombed.”

A fair warning, to be sure, and no doubt the Russians felt they were acting compassionately. But Roman Gribov, one of the Ukrainian guards stationed on the island, felt differently. He radioed back his response, short and simple and to the point: “Russian warship, go f*** yourself!”

Needless to say, the Russians proceeded to pummel the island with bombs, then captured the defenders. The border guards are presumably still alive, and reportedly still giving their Russian captors hell, even in prison.

This kind of defiance in the face of overwhelming odds has come to symbolize the Ukrainian spirit during this whole horrendous conflict. Hundreds of thousands of Russian troops have marched across Ukraine and taken control. They’ll take the country, of this I have no doubt; it’s only a matter of time. The Ukrainians probably know this, but they’re not going down without a fight. They are well-stocked with weapons and supplies from the US and other NATO allies across Europe, but they are frighteningly outgunned and outnumbered by the Russians. Still, they either don’t seem to know this, or they simply don’t care. As a result, the Russian invasion — initially projected by the Kremlin to be over in days — has now dragged on for weeks.

It’s heartening to hear the daily news reports and see the Ukrainians making such a defiant stand against Vladimir Putin or, as I like to call him, Vlad the Infailure. Their spirit of defiance has also inspired me personally against everything that’s been going on in the world lately. In 2020, we were steamrolled by the Covid pandemic. Then in 2021, our government was nearly steamrolled by the Trump insurrectionists. Now in 2022, Vlad is threatening the world with another Cold War and, possibly, nuclear war. It’s been exhausting, to say the least.

Still, I’m tempted to shake my fist at the world, and at the radical Republicans in our government who seem bent on destroying our way of life, and at Trump and all his loyalists for their lingering popularity, and at all those ‘Murcan patriots out there who are simply UNABLE to think for themselves anymore, and the MAGA crowd still waiting for JFK to make his return and crown Trump as our new overlord…wait…where was I going with this…? Oh right…shaking my fist at all of them and giving them a mighty one finger salute with each hand and telling them all to go f*** themselves.

And then maybe I’ll get bombed. I dunno. Or shot. Who’s to say what will happen? All I know is I’m tired of being assaulted every day on every front. I’m tired of feeling like a victim. I refuse to go down without my own defiant fight, is what I’m trying to say.

I think maybe instability is our new normal. I haven’t figured out quite yet how I’m supposed to feel about that. I’m still processing it all. I’ve tried really hard not to let it all get to me, but it does, and maybe that’s okay…? Maybe that’s normal. All I know is I haven’t done so well with it lately for, like, the last two years. It’s affected my productivity for sure, and my mood, and my *success*. I don’t know exactly what that means. All I know is I don’t feel successful. I don’t feel like I’m winning. I don’t feel like I’m getting ahead.

Here’s what I do know: I don’t want to stay like this. I don’t want to continue to be a victim. I don’t want every new year to come and go and leave me feeling like I wasted all 365 days. So maybe I have to stand up in defiance to each new bomb being launched at me and raise my fist and finger in the air and simply say, “Go f*** yourself!”

Be safe out there, friends. Stock up on toilet paper and water and potassium iodide pills and whatever else you feel like you need. (For your complete guide to surviving a nuclear winter, click here.) Who knows what’s actually gonna happen? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. It’s the year-after-year of total uncertainty that’s been killing me. Prepare for the worst I guess? But maybe also still go outside and plant some trees, you know, just in case. Get outside and enjoy the fresh air before it turns toxic, and the warm sunshine before the sky is blighted by radioactive fallout. Wow that’s grim. Sheesh.

Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. Kinda feels like that’s what I’ve been doing lately. It sounds like sage advice. But maybe I’ve been thinking too much about the worst when what I really need is to get on board with more of the HOPE part. And more middle fingers. We need those. Just make sure you aim them at the proper targets lest you be annihilated by bombing warships.