I Did My Patriotic Doody

I voted early on Wednesday in Ohio’s 2022 primary elections. Given all the hullabaloo this year (okay really the last few years) about elections and voter suppression and gerrymandering and, basically, Republicans across the country doing everything they can to actually do what they claimed Democrats did in 2020 (steal an election), I admit I was a bit apprehensive.

A Divided State…

According to the Pew Research Center, Ohio is pretty evenly split between Republicans (42%) and Democrats (40%). That sounds well and good, except that my particular county (Morrow) is 76% Republican. Why on earth we didn’t check such a thing before we moved here I’ll never know. Definitely should have, because we 100% don’t fit in around here.

Republicans also hold a majority in Ohio’s legislature. Since the beginning of the year, Ohio’s Redistricting Commission, which is responsible for drawing up congressional voting maps, has been struck down FOUR TIMES by the Ohio Supreme Court for violating the state’s constitution and anti-gerrymandering laws. The court sends them back to try again, and again, and again, and again … and they still can’t get their *stuff* together. It was obvious after the second time that they just plain don’t even care. The maps are supposed to represent the diversity of Ohio’s political split. But every time they draw up a map, they give unconstitutional advantages towards Republicans.

So we have a corrupt Republican party in Ohio and, honestly, across the entire country. In addition, we have a butt-ton of US citizens marching behind them and cheering them on. And in Morrow county, that happens to be three out of every four people. Also, at least nineteen states across the country (all GOP-controlled, btw … shock and awe, I know) have passed laws making it harder for people to vote. Fortunately so far Ohio isn’t one of them, although I suspect it won’t be much longer given the almost sure bet that Republicans will easily retain power here.

Fears About Voting…

That’s the political environment I walked into when I voted early after work on Wednesday. I kept imaging what would happen when I asked for my Democratic primary ballot at the counter. “Oh?” the poll worker would say, with the obligatory arched eyebrow and sneer on her face. “In that case we’ll need to see eighteen forms of picture ID, an original copy of your birth certificate, a finger print ID from the sheriff’s office, and a sample of your birth mother’s blood.”

That was what I imagined. But what was it really like? Well, in a word … it was surprisingly pleasant. It was exactly what’s it’s always been like every single time I’ve voted here the last few years. It was exactly how it should be everywhere. The poll workers behind the desk were kind, smiling, and just seemed genuinely happy I was there at all to participate. They asked which ballot I would like. I told them Democrat. The smile never faltered. They didn’t look at me funny. They asked for my ID and I handed them my drivers license. That was it. No needles, no knuckle-crackers, no burly men coming out a back room with sunglasses and bulges under their jackets. She checked my drivers license, handed me my ballot, and thanked me for coming in. Then she directed me towards the voting machine and gave me instructions for using it. When I was done, they showed me where and how to enter my completed ballot. Then they offered me a sticker and some chocolate. It was wonderful.

My Big Mouth…

The thought did cross my mind a couple times to make some wise-crack comment before voting. “Did you guys check these ballots for bamboo fibers? Did you verify that hackers from China and Russia aren’t infiltrating these machines? Did Mike Lindell and Sidney ‘The Kraken’ Powell approve these voting procedures?” Me and my big mouth tend to cross lines frequently, but I kept it shut.

To be fair, I do recognize that Ohio hasn’t passed many of the restrictive laws passed in other states. I also recognize that, as a white male natural-born citizen of this country, my experience is likely very different than, say, a black or brown woman in Alabama, or a Hispanic-American in Texas, or a Russian-American in Florida. I also recognize that my single Democratic vote in a Republican-dominated county likely won’t make a hill of beans difference, especially when voting maps illegally favor the GOP.

What We Stand For…

But it matters to me. I have a voice and I shared that voice, even if that voice is muffled or silenced. I will not do what is popular with many Americans these days, which is to give up and sit back and simply accept whatever spoon Faux News shoves into my mouth that day. I used to be a Republican. I have some very conservative views. But the Republican party is no longer a conservative party. They’ve morphed into some conspiracy-filled, power-hungry lunatic party that can’t tell the truth to save their own reputations. I watched some of the Republican primary debates in Pennsylvania. There were only two talking points: 1) the 2020 election was stolen, and 2) arguing over which of them Donald Trump actually endorsed.

“He likes me best!”
“No, he likes ME best!”

It was pathetic. The GOP stands for nothing anymore. And while I don’t agree 100% with everything the Democrats are doing, at least they’re actually doing something, and not still hung up on conspiracy theories and threatening each others’ lives and waiting for JFK to return and save us all.

I’m glad I voted early. I’m glad I could participate. I hope Republicans don’t regain control of the House and Senate. They’ve already promised to impeach Joe Biden as soon as they get the chance, not because he’s actually done anything wrong mind you, but just because payback’s a bee-otch baby.

Fear is the Mind Killer…

I fear for the direction this country is heading. I wish I could blame it all on corrupt politicians. But the truth is too many US citizens are also responsible, because they keep voting in and supporting the clown-show. Too many US citizens have gladly handed over the reigns of their own thinking, happy to let someone else yank around the bit inside their mouth and tell them which way to go, which way to think, which way to look. It’s sad. They don’t even recognize anymore that they’re being manipulated, which is probably the saddest.

But it’s not too late to turn things around. Get out there and vote, people! Vote wisely. Vote for moral candidates who don’t cheat on their spouses or pay hush money to prostitutes or traffic teenage girls or blame Jewish space lasers for wildfires in the west or who, you know, worship Vladimir Putin and encourage people to overthrow our government. Vote against conspiracy and lies and in-fighting and corruption. Our future really does depend on it.